The Unspoken Rules of Standing in Line (And Why I Break Them All)




The Unspoken Rules of Standing in Line (And Why I Break Them All)


Let’s be honest, there are few things more thrilling than spotting the cashier opening a new register at the grocery store… except maybe realizing you’re at the front of the line for said register. It’s a moment of pure, unadulterated victory.

The Great Grocery Store Dash of ’23

Just last week, I found myself in this very situation. I was leisurely perusing the greeting cards (don’t judge, I’m a procrastinator), when suddenly, a voice boomed over the intercom: “Cashier open on register five!”

Now, I’m not usually one for sprinting in public. But something about that announcement, the thrill of the chase, the promise of a speedier checkout, awoke a primal instinct within me. I dropped my carefully selected “Happy Belated Birthday” card (sorry, Grandma!) and made a beeline for register five.

line-standing conduct. But had I? And more importantly, did I care?

Line Etiquette: The Personal Space Paradox

There’s this weird dance we do in lines. We’re simultaneously desperate to be close enough to ensure no one cuts in front of us, yet maintain a safe distance to avoid any awkward physical contact. It’s the personal space paradox.

I’ll admit, I’m a space invader. I like to keep things moving, and that means staying close enough to the person in front of me that no one dares even think about slipping in. Is it aggressive? Maybe. Does it work? Absolutely.

Breaking the Silence: The Art of the Chat

Another unwritten rule of line etiquette? Thou shalt not speak. We’re all crammed together, strangers united by the common goal of escaping this retail purgatory. And yet, we’re expected to do so in stony silence.

I say, bring on the small talk! I’ve had delightful conversations with fellow line-standers about everything from the weather (thrilling, I know) to the best brand of dog shampoo. Sometimes, a simple “How’s your day going?” is all it takes to break the tension and inject a little humanity into the experience.