We all know that feeling, right? You’re sprawled on the couch, three episodes deep into a reality TV marathon you swore you wouldn’t watch, and you catch a glimpse of your houseplant. You know, the one you diligently water and fertilize. The one basking in the sunlight you carefully position it in every morning. And in that moment, you swear it’s judging you.
Well, friends, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. In fact, I’m convinced my own houseplant, a majestic ZZ plant named Zephyr, is silently judging my every life choice. Don’t believe me? Allow me to present the evidence.
Exhibit A: The Case of the Crumbly Croissant
Picture this: It’s a Sunday morning, and I’m nursing a truly epic hangover. The remnants of a questionable takeout order litter the coffee table, including a particularly sad-looking croissant. I glance over at Zephyr, and what do I see?
He’s turned away from me.
Exhibit B: The Great Netflix Binge of 2023
Remember that time I told you about my unhealthy relationship with reality TV? Well, Zephyr was a silent observer to that downfall, too. As I mindlessly scrolled through endless episodes, he stood there, a green beacon of productivity and purpose.
And you know what? He started thriving.
New growth popped up everywhere. His leaves became greener, glossier, practically glowing with smug satisfaction. It was like he was saying, “Look at you, wasting your life away while I’m out here reaching peak photosynthesis.”