My Personal Elevator Everest
Let’s be honest, elevators are weird. Crammed into a metal box with strangers, hurtling upwards at an alarming speed (or downwards, equally alarming). And the silence! It’s enough to make you want to scream… or burst into an impromptu rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” (Don’t worry, I haven’t gone that far… yet.)
My personal elevator Everest occurred last week. Picture this: eight floors, me, and a man who clearly believed that eye contact in an elevator was a one-way ticket to the Upside Down. I’m talking full-on, head-cocked-at-an-unnatural-angle, staring-at-the-ceiling avoidance. It was like he was trying to win an Olympic medal in “Most Uncomfortable Human Pretzel.”
Rule #1: Thou Shalt Not Speak in the Elevator
This is the cardinal rule, the granddaddy of awkward elevator moments. We’re supposed to treat this confined space like a silent monastery, where the only acceptable sounds are the gentle hum of the motor and the occasional cough of repressed anxiety.
But why? Why can’t we acknowledge the other humans sharing this bizarre vertical journey? I’m not suggesting we launch into a deep philosophical debate about the meaning of life (though, if you’re up for it, I’m all ears). But a simple “Good morning” or “How’s your day going?” can go a long way in breaking the ice and dispelling the awkwardness.
Of course, there are exceptions. If someone is clearly wearing headphones or engrossed in a book, they’re probably not looking for a chat. But a friendly smile never hurt anyone, right? (Unless you’re a supervillain, in which case, please disregard.)
Rule #2: Avoid All Eye Contact in the Elevator
Apparently, the most fascinating things in an elevator are the illuminated floor numbers slowly ticking upwards or the blue light reflecting off our phone screens. Anything but making eye contact with another human being.
Look, I get it. We’re all glued to our phones these days. But is it really necessary to scroll through Instagram with the intensity of a brain surgeon during an operation? Can’t we put our devices down for two minutes and, I don’t know, maybe engage with the world around us?
Instead of pretending to be enthralled by the latest cat meme, why not try this: make eye contact with someone (gasp!), offer a smile, and if they reciprocate, maybe even strike up a conversation. You never know, you might even learn something new (or at least have a less awkward elevator ride).