The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (And Why I Break Them All)
My Vertical Venture into Social Anarchy
The other day, I stepped into an elevator – you know, that metal box of silent judgment we all endure on a regular basis? As the doors were closing, a wild thought struck me: what if I, a self-proclaimed champion of comfortable chaos, just completely disregarded every unspoken rule of elevator etiquette? What if I turned this mundane microcosm of society into, dare I say, a delightful space of human connection (or at least mild amusement)?
Rule #1: Thou Shalt Not Make Eye Contact
Oh, the sacred rule of elevator eye contact – or lack thereof. We’re supposed to stare straight ahead, shoes, the back of someone’s head – anything but acknowledge the breathing humans around us. I say, nay! Why not offer a friendly smile? Maybe even a compliment? “I love your shoes!” I exclaimed to a woman on my last elevator ride. Her surprised expression quickly morphed into a delighted grin. We ended up chatting about our shared love for vintage footwear. Who knew a simple elevator ride could spark such a connection?
