When My Fiddle Leaf Fig Nearly Gave Me a Panic Attack
I swear, it was like something out of a sitcom. There I was, sprawled on the kitchen floor, sobbing over a dating app fail (don’t judge!), when I noticed it. Beatrice, my normally placid fiddle leaf fig, was… drooping. Not just a little thirsty droop, but a full-on, “I’m so disappointed in you, I might just drop all my leaves” kind of droop.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “It’s a plant! It doesn’t judge!” But hear me out. This wasn’t just a one-time thing. Beatrice and I, we’ve got history. A long, leafy, slightly passive-aggressive history.
Look, I’m not saying she’s got a direct line to my conscience (though I wouldn’t put it past her), but the timing is always impeccable. Big deadline at work? Beatrice starts shedding leaves like they’re going out of style. Successfully navigated a tricky social situation? Boom! New growth everywhere, practically glowing with pride.
Can a Peace Lily Sense a Clean Apartment?
And it’s not just Beatrice. Oh no, my friend, the judgment is strong with all my plant children. Take Percy, my peace lily. For months, he was this sad, droopy mess. I’m talking barely clinging to life, giving me serious “Weekend at Bernie’s” vibes.
Then, what can only be described as a miracle occurred. I finally cleaned my apartment. Like, really cleaned it. And Percy? Well, let’s just say he’s never looked more alive. He’s practically throwing new blooms at me, like, “See Susan, this is what happens when you’re not a complete disaster!”
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