Is My Houseplant Judging My Life Choices? (The Evidence is Compelling)
We’ve all been there. You’re sprawled on the couch, three episodes deep into a true crime documentary marathon, when you suddenly feel a presence. You glance around, expecting to see a nosy neighbor peering through the window, but then you lock eyes with… your houseplant. And in that moment, you just know it’s judging you.
Does Your Houseplant Give You the Side-Eye?
Okay, maybe “judging” is a strong word. But I swear, my Monstera Deliciosa, Ferdinand, has perfected the art of the side-eye. It’s especially potent when I’m indulging in my less-than-ideal habits. You know, like attempting (and failing) to make three-course meals from those meal kit services, or letting laundry pile up until it resembles Mount Washmore.
My Plant’s Perfect Routine vs. My Chaotic Life
Another reason for my suspicions? Ferdinand is the epitome of consistency. He thrives on routine, soaking up his weekly watering and basking in the sunlight streaming through my living room window. I, on the other hand, am more of a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of gal. My sleep schedule is a suggestion, my diet is questionable at best, and my apartment cleaning routine? Let’s just say Ferdinand has witnessed things…
He’s like the silent, leafy embodiment of all the things I should be doing: drinking enough water, getting eight hours of sleep, maybe even developing a green thumb of my own (a girl can dream, right?).
Did My Houseplant Just Show Signs of Approval?
And then there’s the evidence that really solidified my theory. A few weeks ago, after a particularly productive day where I actually, you know, adult-ed, I noticed something amazing. Ferdinand had sprouted a new leaf! It was vibrant green, reaching towards the sunlight like a tiny, triumphant flag.
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