Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me

Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me

From Green Thumb to Paranoid Plant Parent

Remember that blissful feeling of bringing home a new plant, its leaves plump with promise, its pot practically radiating positivity? Yeah, mine was short-lived. It all started innocently enough. I’d lovingly chosen Herbert (yes, I name my plants, don’t judge!) a majestic ZZ plant, from the local nursery. Low maintenance, they said. Thrives on neglect, they said.

plant happiness?

The Side-Eye That Launched a Thousand Waterings

And that’s when it happened. As I was frantically Googling “droopy ZZ plant remedies,” our eyes met. And I swear, Herbert, with a barely perceptible tilt of his pot (or maybe it was just the uneven floorboards, my brain supplied helpfully), gave me the most judgmental side-eye I’d ever received. From a plant, no less.

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