Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me
From Green Thumb to Paranoid Plant Parent
Remember that blissful feeling of bringing home a new plant, its leaves plump with promise, its pot practically radiating positivity? Yeah, mine was short-lived. It all started innocently enough. I’d lovingly chosen Herbert (yes, I name my plants, don’t judge!) a majestic ZZ plant, from the local nursery. Low maintenance, they said. Thrives on neglect, they said.
The Side-Eye That Launched a Thousand Waterings
And that’s when it happened. As I was frantically Googling “droopy ZZ plant remedies,” our eyes met. And I swear, Herbert, with a barely perceptible tilt of his pot (or maybe it was just the uneven floorboards, my brain supplied helpfully), gave me the most judgmental side-eye I’d ever received. From a plant, no less.
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