The Dreaded IKEA Instruction Manual
We’ve all been there. You finally wrangle that flatpack behemoth into your living room, the promise of new furniture dancing in your head. You rip open the cardboard, eager to get started, and then you see it – the instruction manual. A silent scream builds in your throat. So. Many. Diagrams.
This, my friends, is the story of how I, in a moment of misguided confidence (or maybe it was the siren song of leftover pizza), decided to forgo the instruction manual and assemble an IKEA bookshelf with nothing but my wits and a can-do attitude. Let’s just say it involved more than a few “creative interpretations” and a healthy dose of side-eye from my cat, Mittens.
Lost in Translation: Assembling Furniture Without Instructions
My first mistake (aside from the obvious) was assuming IKEA furniture is self-explanatory. I mean, how hard could it be, right? Wrong. So very wrong. Armed with nothing but a screwdriver and blind optimism, I tipped a cascade of wooden planks and mysterious metal bits onto the floor. Mittens, instantly alert, perched herself on the sofa and began what I could only interpret as a silent judgment of my life choices.
I optimistically sorted the pieces, attempting to decipher the hieroglyphic-like diagrams printed on the box. Round thing… goes into… square hole? Maybe? An hour and several near-miss hammer incidents later, I had managed to construct what could only generously be described as a wobbly, abstract interpretation of a side table.
