We all know the basic rules of plant parenthood, right? Provide sunlight, water occasionally, don’t let them turn into crunchy brown skeletons. Easy peasy! Or so I thought, before I was initiated into the secret society of Plant Parents. Turns out, there’s a whole set of unspoken rules that nobody tells you about.
My Fern-tastic Initiation into Plant Parenthood
My journey began innocently enough. I adopted a cute little fern, its fronds a vibrant green. I proudly displayed it on my windowsill, picturing myself as a natural nurturer, someone who could keep even the most delicate beings alive. I watered it diligently, sang to it (don’t judge), and even gave it a name (Fernie, in case you were wondering). Then, tragedy struck. Fernie started to droop. Its once-proud fronds shriveled, turning a sickly yellow.
Panicked, I did what any self-respecting millennial would do – I googled it. Turns out, I was lovingly drowning poor Fernie. Thus began my crash course in the unspoken rules of plant parenthood.
Rule #1: Google: Plant Parent Savior & Source of Anxiety
Seriously, Google is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s a treasure trove of information. Yellow leaves? Google it. Brown spots? Google it. Plant suddenly doing the Macarena? Definitely Google it (and send video evidence).
But here’s the catch – Google can also be a source of immense anxiety. Every search result leads to another potential problem, each more terrifying than the last. You’ll find yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole of root rot, spider mites, and fungal diseases, convinced your plant is on its deathbed.
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