Is My Houseplant Judging Me? (The Evidence is Compelling)
We all have them – those little quirks that make us feel like our lives are open books. Maybe you leave dishes “soaking” for a suspiciously long time, or perhaps your definition of “making the bed” is loosely based on what a toddler considers a job well done. But lately, I’ve started to suspect that someone (or something) is taking particular notice of my, shall we say, less-than-perfect habits. And that someone is Ferdinand, my seemingly innocent peace lily.
Did My Peace Lily Just Raise an Eyebrow?
It all started innocently enough. I was rushing around, trying to find my keys amidst a mountain of laundry (don’t judge!), when I caught Ferdinand‘s “eye.” Now, I realize plants don’t technically have eyes or eyebrows, but the way his single, broad leaf tilted towards the chaos was enough to make me pause. It was as if he was saying, “Really, Brenda? This is what you’re doing with your life?”
Then there was the time I decided to order takeout for the third night in a row. (Hey, adulting is hard!) As I unwrapped my burger, I noticed Ferdinand looking a little droopy. Was it my imagination, or was he subtly judging my less-than-nutritious dinner choices? I swear I even heard a faint sigh as I popped open a can of soda instead of reaching for a glass of water. Okay, maybe that last part was in my head, but still. The wilting! The judgment! It was all too real.
Living With a Passive-Aggressive Plant Parent
Since then, I’ve become acutely aware of Ferdinand’s silent observations. I swear he perks up a little when I actually cook a healthy meal, and his leaves seem to droop lower every time I binge-watch reality TV instead of tackling my to-do list. It’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to feel like I’m living with a passive-aggressive roommate who communicates solely through subtle shifts in foliage.
But here’s the funny thing: as much as I joke about Ferdinand’s judgmental tendencies, I secretly kind of love it. It’s like having a tiny, green accountability buddy who, despite not having a mouth, manages to say, “Get it together, Brenda!” without actually saying anything at all.
Do Your Houseplants Judge You Too?
So, tell me, dear readers, am I alone in this? Do your houseplants judge your life choices too?