From Regular Dude to Line-Standing Legend
Let’s be honest, nobody enjoys standing in line. It’s the societal equivalent of being stuck in traffic: a necessary evil we all endure for the promise of something great at the end (a concert ticket, the latest iPhone, a cronut…). But my friends, I’m here to tell you, there’s an art to it. After years of experience, I’ve gone from Average Joe to Line-Standing Legend. I’ve seen it all, from the good (making friends with fellow line-standers) to the bad (epic meltdowns over bathroom breaks) and the downright ugly (rogue line-cutters, may they forever be haunted by the ghosts of lines past).
So, without further ado, I present to you the unwritten, unspoken, yet universally understood rules of being a line-stander. Heed them well, my friends.
Rule #1: The Invisible Force Field (And Why You Should Never Cross It)
You know that invisible bubble surrounding each person in line? That’s their personal space, their sanctuary in the chaos. Maintain a respectful distance. This isn’t a mosh pit (unless, of course, it’s a line for a mosh pit, in which case, disregard). Now, this space fluctuates. A packed, bustling line? You might be elbow-to-elbow with your neighbor. A leisurely queue for a Sunday matinee? Give ’em breathing room. How much? Think “could I comfortably reach into their bag of chips?” If the answer is yes, you’re too close.
