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Tag: early bird

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)



    The 5:00 AM Pact (and My Immediate Betrayal)

    My alarm clock sang its cheerful tune at 5:00 AM. Okay, “cheerful” might be a stretch. It was more like a digital rooster crowing directly into my ear. I’d made a pact with myself, you see. I was going to be one of those mythical creatures: a morning person.

    This delusion usually strikes me once a year, usually after reading some article about the productivity secrets of CEOs who wake up before dawn. This time, it was an Instagram post showcasing a woman sipping lemon water in a sun-drenched yoga pose as a majestic sunrise painted the sky behind her. “This could be me,” I’d thought, blissfully ignorant of the sleep inertia that awaited me.

    Back to the alarm. I smashed the snooze button with the fury of a thousand grumpy bears. Nine minutes later, the rooster crowed again. This cycle repeated itself until my actual, human-powered alarm (my six-year-old son) burst into my room demanding pancakes.

    Operation Sunshine: My Failed Morning Routine Experiments

    My initial failure didn’t deter me. Oh no, I had strategies! I researched the science of sleep cycles, invested in a sunrise alarm clock, and even tried that whole “going to bed early” nonsense (spoiler alert: Netflix always wins).

    Here’s a glimpse into my week of valiant, albeit ridiculous, efforts:

    1. Monday: Sunrise alarm clock. Verdict: Pleasant, but entirely ineffective at rousing a determined sleeper. I woke up at noon to the smell of burning toast (apparently, I also tried to make breakfast before going back to sleep).
    2. Tuesday: Motivational mantra and vigorous exercise. Verdict: Managed to drag myself out of bed and through a 10-minute yoga video. Immediately rewarded myself with a nap on the yoga mat.
  • The Time I Tried to be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)


    We’ve all been there. Scrolling through Instagram at midnight, stumbling upon a post of some impossibly perfect human who’s already finished their morning yoga, green smoothie, and daily meditation before the sun even thinks about rising.

    And in that moment, bathed in the pale glow of our phone screens, we think, “I could be like that! I could be a morning person!”

    The Pact I Made with the Devil (aka My Alarm Clock)

    My attempt to join the ranks of chipper morning people started innocently enough. It was a particularly brutal Monday morning, the kind where even my coffee looked at me with pity. I was running late, hair a mess, tripping over my own feet, and desperately trying to find my keys (spoiler alert: they were in the fridge).

    That’s when I decided, “Enough is enough! I’m going to become a morning person, conquer the day, and be the envy of all who cross my path!”

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)


    We’ve all seen them. Those mythical creatures who bound out of bed at the crack of dawn, chirping about sunshine and the promise of a fresh pot of coffee. They actually choose to exercise before the workday begins. These, my friends, are the morning people. And for a brief, shining moment, I thought I could be one of them.

    Operation: Rise and Shine (More Like Rise and Whine)

    My foray into the world of early rising began, ironically enough, in the dead of night. Scrolling through Pinterest at 2:00 AM, I stumbled upon countless infographics touting the benefits of waking up early: increased productivity, reduced stress levels, the ability to actually make a decent breakfast. I was sold.

    morning routine. This involved things like “meditation” (read: panicking about how little sleep I was getting) and “journaling” (scribbling incoherent sentences in the dark).

    The Yogurt Explosion: A Sign From the Universe?

    The first few days were rough. My brain felt like it was perpetually stuck in a fog bank, and I relied heavily on industrial-strength coffee to function. But then, something miraculous happened. One morning, I woke up before my alarm went off. I felt…dare I say…rested?

    Maybe, just maybe, I was becoming one of them.

    Fueled by this newfound sense of morning personhood, I decided to make a healthy breakfast. I grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and…well, let’s just say I forgot that unopened yogurt containers have a tendency to explode when shaken vigorously.

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)



    morning person!” I declare to my bewildered cat. Now, for anyone who knows me, this was a bold statement. I’m not just not a morning person; I’m practically allergic to mornings. My spirit animal is a grumpy sloth that just wants to be left alone until at least 10 AM.

    But this time felt different. This time, I was going to conquer the morning. I set my alarm for a horrifying 5 AM, visualized myself jogging at sunrise with a green smoothie in hand (delusional, I know), and drifted off to sleep, feeling strangely optimistic.

    Day 1: The Snooze Button Became My New Best Friend

    The first sign that things were going downhill was the sound of my alarm clock the next morning. Or rather, the sound of me violently swatting at it like a bear defending its cubs. After several rounds of this aggressive snooze button tango, I finally dragged myself out of bed at the ungodly hour of 6:45 AM.

    Remember that sunrise jog and green smoothie I envisioned? Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead, I stumbled around my apartment like a zombie, tripping over furniture and mumbling obscenities at the coffee maker for not brewing fast enough.

    Morning Misadventures

    By day three, the novelty of my “new life” had worn off faster than a cheap pair of tights. My attempts to be productive before work mainly consisted of:

    1. Staring blankly at my computer screen while mentally writing strongly worded letters to the inventor of alarm clocks.
    2. Accidentally flipping off a cheerful jogger who had the audacity to smile at me while I was wrestling with my coffee thermos. Sorry, not sorry, Brenda, you should see the other guy (me).
    3. Daydreaming about all the glorious sleep I could be having if I just gave up on this whole “morning person” charade.
  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    We’ve all seen them – those mythical creatures who bound out of bed at the crack of dawn, practically vibrating with energy and cheer. They’re the ones posting sunrise yoga selfies while I’m hitting the snooze button for the third time, convinced the sun is personally attacking me.

    For years, I’ve watched these morning people with a mixture of envy and suspicion. Surely, they’re not human, right? But a tiny voice inside me whispered, “Maybe…just maybe…you could be one of them too.”

    The Great Morning Person Experiment Begins

    Armed with the unyielding optimism of someone who has clearly never experienced 6 am, I decided to embark on a journey of self-improvement disguised as “The Great Morning Person Experiment.” I envisioned myself jogging in the crisp morning air, sipping green smoothies, and generally being one of those annoyingly productive people you see in motivational stock photos.

  • The Time I Tried to Become a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Become a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)



    morning people who seem to have it all together. You know the ones – they’re jogging in the park while the sun rises, green smoothie in hand, already halfway through their to-do list before you’ve even hit snooze for the third time.

    Operation: Sunshine and Smiles (aka My Failed Morning Routine Experiment)

    One particularly unproductive evening (or should I say, early morning), I decided enough was enough. Inspired by a particularly convincing self-help article, I vowed to become one of them – a morning person. I envisioned myself greeting the day with open arms, a serene smile, and a newfound zest for life. Oh, the naive optimism!

    Armed with a chirpy alarm clock (set for the ungodly hour of 6 AM), a brand-new meditation app, and a fridge stocked with enough kale to choke a rhinoceros, I embarked on my journey to the land of the morning people. What could possibly go wrong?

    Day 3: Caffeine Overload and My Downfall as a Morning Person

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)


    We’ve all seen them. Those mythical creatures who bound out of bed at dawn, chirping about sunshine and possibilities. They sip green smoothies with alarming perkiness while the rest of us are just trying to remember how to operate the coffee machine. Yes, I’m talking about morning people.

    My Pact With the Alarm Clock (Spoiler: It Didn’t End Well)

    It all started innocently enough. I was reading an article about the numerous benefits of waking up early: increased productivity, reduced stress levels, the ability to speak fluent unicorn, you name it. I, seduced by the promise of achieving peak human potential, decided to make a change. No more hitting snooze until the last possible second. I was going to become a morning person, dammit!

    alarm for the ungodly hour of 6:00 am and prepared for a new me. My plan was foolproof (or so I thought):

    1. Wake up when the alarm goes off (no negotiating!).
    2. Drink a tall glass of lemon water while basking in the morning sun (or, you know, staring bleary-eyed out the window).
    3. Go for a jog while listening to uplifting music (because nothing says “I love mornings!” like pretending you’re in a montage sequence).

    The first morning was rough. Like, sandpaper-on-your-eyeballs rough. I stumbled through my morning routine, feeling more like a zombie than a beacon of productivity. The lemon water tasted suspiciously like betrayal, and my “jog” resembled a slow-motion interpretive dance of someone who desperately needed caffeine.

    The Universe Had Other Plans for My Inner Early Bird

    Things went downhill from there. I started setting two alarms, then three, just to ensure I actually woke up. I accidentally put my shirt on inside out more times than I’d like to admit. And don’t even get me started on the day I poured orange juice into my coffee mug.

  • The Time I Tried to be a ‘Morning Person’ (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to be a ‘Morning Person’ (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to be a ‘Morning Person’ (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Great Dawn Experiment

    Let me preface this by saying I love the idea of mornings. That crisp air, the promise of a fresh start, the smugness of being “ahead” of the day…it all sounds lovely. In theory. In reality, I’m more of a “wake up with bed hair and the faint scent of last night‘s pizza” kind of gal.

    But a few weeks ago, I stumbled across one too many articles praising the productivity and overall zen of morning people. I’d be healthier, wealthier, and possibly sprout a third arm (okay, maybe not that last one) if I just embraced the sunrise, they promised. So, I did what any self-respecting skeptic would do: I embarked on a social experiment. I, a certified night owl, would become a morning person. For science. And, you know, the potential for extra limbs.

    Phase 1: Rise and…Regret?

    My alarm clock, usually relegated to the dusty corner of my nightstand, was given a place of honor. 6:00 AM. The audacity. The first morning was rough, like waking up in a parallel universe where the sun was a cruel joke and coffee hadn’t been invented yet. I stumbled through a yoga routine (read: awkwardly flailed around) while my cat gave me a judgmental stare.

    morning staring blankly at my computer screen, occasionally nodding off and startling myself awake. On the plus side, I discovered a newfound appreciation for the snooze button.

    Phase 2: Embrace the Caffeine (and the Chaos)

    Week two, and I realized I needed reinforcements. Enter: industrial-sized coffee maker. My caffeine intake reached new heights, as did my anxiety levels. I was a whirlwind of nervous energy, cleaning my apartment at lightning speed, then forgetting where I’d put my keys five minutes later.

    My attempt at a healthy breakfast (a smoothie, because that’s what healthy morning people do, right?) ended disastrously. Let’s just say my blender and I had a difference of opinion on the appropriate speed setting.

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (Spoiler Alert: It Backfired)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (Spoiler Alert: It Backfired)





    The Pre-Dawn Pact I Made (and Immediately Regretted)

    Let me set the scene: It’s 5:30 AM, the sun is barely a rumor behind the curtains, and my alarm clock is chirping obnoxiously. Now, for most normal, functioning humans, this might be a typical Tuesday. For me, however, this was a declaration of war on my very nature. You see, I am, and have always been, a card-carrying member of the Night Owls Society. My brain fires on all cylinders at 2:00 AM, I get my best writing done when the moon is high, and the mere thought of a 6:00 AM workout used to send shivers down my spine.

    But then, it happened. I stumbled across one of those articles – you know the ones – with titles like “10 Habits of Ridiculously Productive People” or “How Waking Up Early Changed My Life (and It Can Change Yours Too!).” Lured by the siren song of increased productivity and maybe even a shot at early-bird discounts at my local bakery, I decided to make a change. I, dear reader, was going to become a Morning Person™.

    Person Mishaps

    My transformation started out surprisingly well. I woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:00 AM (a full hour earlier than my usual wake-up time!), made myself a smoothie (that I may or may not have spilled on myself due to my still-dormant motor skills), and even attempted some light yoga (let’s just say my downward dog looked more like a confused dachshund).

    However, this newfound productivity was short-lived. My early morning jog felt more like a death march, my attempts at creative writing produced sentences like “The sky was blue, but also kind of sleepy,” and I spent an embarrassing amount of time staring blankly into the abyss of my refrigerator, convinced I had forgotten how to make coffee.

    The final straw came during an important work meeting. I, fueled by a potent combination of sleep deprivation and an ill-advised amount of coffee, somehow managed to confuse the CEO with a potted plant during my presentation. Needless to say, my dreams of impressing the higher-ups with my newfound morning-person energy went down in flames (along with my reputation, probably).

    Embracing My Inner Night Owl (and My Snooze Button)

    After a solid week of pre-dawn misery, I finally surrendered to the undeniable truth: I am not, nor will I ever be, a morning person. I accepted that my creativity thrives after the sun sets, that my ideal breakfast involves copious amounts of coffee, and that my sleep-deprived self poses a danger to both office plants and corporate presentations.

    So, I returned to my beloved snooze button, embraced the quiet productivity of the late-night hours, and left the sunrise yoga and green smoothies to those who actually function before noon. And you know what? I’ve never been happier (or more well-rested).

  • How to Create a Killer Morning Routine (Without Waking Up at 5am!)

    How to Create a Killer Morning Routine (Without Waking Up at 5am!)






    Introduction

    We’ve all heard it: “Win the morning, win the day!”. A successful morning routine is touted as the key to productivity, reduced stress, and overall well-being. But what if you’re not a morning person? Does that mean you’re doomed to a life of playing catch-up?

    Absolutely not! You don’t need to force yourself into an unrealistic 5am wake-up call to have a productive and positive start to your day. This article will show you how to create a killer morning routine that works for you, no matter what time you peel yourself out of bed.

    Understanding Your Ideal Morning Routine

    Before diving into specific routines, it’s crucial to identify what works best for your lifestyle and preferences.

    1. Determine Your Chronotype

    Are you a night owl or an early bird? Our bodies have natural sleep-wake cycles called chronotypes. Understanding yours can help you determine the optimal time to wake up and schedule activities for maximum productivity.

    2. Identify Your Non-Negotiables

    What are the absolute must-dos that set you up for a good day? This could be anything from a cup of coffee to a quick workout. Having 2-3 non-negotiables ensures consistency, even on busy mornings.

    • Example: If exercise is important to you, but you struggle to find time later in the day, a 15-minute morning yoga session could be your non-negotiable.

    3. Start Small and Build Gradually

    Don’t try to overhaul your entire routine overnight. Start with one or two small changes and gradually incorporate more as you adjust. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a sustainable morning routine.

    Building Your Killer Morning Routine: Actionable Steps

    Now that you have a better understanding of your needs, let’s build a morning routine that sets you up for success:

    1. Wake Up with Intention (and Natural Light)

    • Ditch the snooze button! Hitting snooze disrupts your sleep cycle and leaves you feeling groggy.
    • Open your curtains or blinds immediately upon waking. Natural light signals to your body that it’s time to wake up, boosting energy levels naturally.

    2. Hydrate and Fuel Your Body

    • Drink a large glass of water upon waking to rehydrate after sleep.
    • Don’t skip breakfast! Even if it’s something small, fueling your body is essential for energy and focus.
    a person meditating peacefully in their living room