Just Relaxed Blog

Tag: funny gardening

  • Confessions of a Recovering Plant Killer (and Why You Should Totally Join the Club)

    Confessions of a Recovering Plant Killer (and Why You Should Totally Join the Club)

    From near-death experiences to surprising triumphs, discover the unexpected joys (and hilarious fails) of becoming a plant parent. You might just find yourself inspired to join the club!

    From Black Thumb to Proud Plant Parent

    Let’s be honest, I wasn’t always a friend to foliage. In fact, I had a long and embarrassing history of accidental plant homicide. My thumbs weren’t just black, they were practically shrouded in a dark, plant-killing aura. Succulents? More like succulents-to-mush in my care. Peace lilies? They anything BUT peaceful.

    But then something changed. Maybe it was the pandemic, maybe it was a surge in my age, or maybe (just maybe) it was the adorable baby cactus my friend gifted me, but I decided to give this whole plant parenting thing another shot. And let me tell you, it’s been a wild, hilarious, and surprisingly fulfilling ride.

    The Unexpected Thrill of Witnessing New Growth

    Friends, there’s something incredibly satisfying about nurturing another living thing (especially when you have a track record like mine). When my stubborn ZZ plant finally sprouted a new, glossy leaf after months of what I can only describe as “playing dead,” I may have actually squealed with delight. I even sent photos to my long-suffering friends with the caption, “SHE LIVES!” (They were, understandably, both terrified and slightly concerned for my sanity).

    But that’s the thing about plants – they teach you patience. They remind you that growth takes time, and sometimes, the most rewarding things in life are the ones we wait for. Plus, that feeling of “I kept something alive!” is surprisingly addictive.

    Plants: The Quirky Roommates You Never Knew You Needed

    Here’s the thing about plant parenthood: it’s not just about keeping something alive; it’s about adding a touch of life, personality, and yes, even humor, to your space. My plants have become my quirky, silent roommates. I swear my spider plant is judging my questionable life choices, and my peace lily dramatically wilts every time I forget to water it for a few days (drama queen!).

    But even their little quirks bring me joy. They remind me that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Plus, they make for excellent conversation starters. Nothing breaks the ice like telling a guest, “Don’t mind Philodendron Phil, he’s just a little dramatic.”

    So, Are You Ready to Join the Plant Parent Club?

    Look, I get it. Taking care of a plant might seem intimidating, especially if you’ve got a history like mine. But trust me, the rewards far outweigh the risks. You might discover a hidden talent, a newfound appreciation for nature, or maybe, just maybe, a new best friend who doesn’t judge your messy bun and love of reality TV (unless it’s a peace lily, then all bets are off).

    So, what are you waiting for? Go forth and get your plant on!

  • Confessions of a Reformed Plant Killer (and Why You Should Totally Join the Club)

    Confessions of a Reformed Plant Killer (and Why You Should Totally Join the Club)

    Confessions of a Reformed Plant Killer (And Why You Should Totally Join the Club)

    From Black Thumb to Proud Plant Parent

    Let’s be honest, folks. My thumbs have never been known for their verdant touch. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could kill a cactus in a desert. Okay, maybe not that bad, but you get the picture. Succulents wilted under my watch, spider plants surrendered their last legs, and don’t even get me started on that poor, innocent peace lily. Let’s just say it wasn’t very peaceful.

    So, imagine my surprise when, in the midst of a global pandemic and fueled by endless sourdough bread baking, I found myself inexplicably drawn to the plant section of the grocery store. Fast forward two years, and my apartment looks like a greenhouse exploded (in the best way possible, of course). Turns out, plant parenthood is kind of amazing. Who knew?

    1. Plants Are the Chillest Roommates Ever (Except for That One Drama Queen Fern)

    Forget noisy roommates who steal your food and leave dirty dishes in the sink. Plants are the epitome of low-maintenance living. They don’t care if you blast your 90s playlist at 2 am, they’ll never borrow your clothes without asking, and they’ll happily accept whatever scraps of sunlight your apartment offers.

    Sure, they might need a little water and the occasional pep talk (don’t judge, it works!), but trust me, their demands are far less demanding than even the most well-behaved cat or dog. Plus, they’ll never judge your questionable decorating choices. Except maybe that one dramatic fern I have. She’s a bit of a diva.

    2. Who Needs Therapy When You Can Talk to Your Plants? (They’re Great Listeners, I Swear)

    I know, I know, it sounds crazy. But hear me out. There’s something incredibly therapeutic about tending to your plants. It’s like a form of meditation, only instead of chanting “om,” you’re whispering sweet nothings to your monstera and admiring its new leaf.

    And the best part? Plants give the BEST advice. They just sit there, looking all wise and leafy, never interrupting or offering unsolicited opinions. They’re basically the silent, green therapists we all need in our lives.

    3. Prepare for the Ultimate Bragging Rights (And Maybe a Little Green Envy)

    Remember that feeling of accomplishment when you successfully assembled Ikea furniture without resorting to duct tape and prayers? That’s how you’ll feel every time your plant sprouts a new leaf, blooms a vibrant flower, or generally thrives under your care.

    Trust me, plant parenthood comes with serious bragging rights. Suddenly, you’ll find yourself snapping pictures of your leafy companions like a proud pet owner and subtly (or not so subtly) showcasing your green babies during Zoom calls. Be warned: you might also inspire a touch of envy among your less-green-thumbed friends.

    So, Are You Ready to Become a Plant Parent?

    Look, I get it. The thought of keeping another living thing alive can be intimidating, especially if you’ve got a history with plants like mine. But trust me, the rewards far outweigh the risks. Plus, with a little patience, a dash of love, and maybe a plant app or two, you, too, can experience the unexpected joys of being a plant parent. You might even surprise yourself.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear my fiddle leaf fig calling. Something about needing a pep talk and a Taylor Swift song…