Just Relaxed Blog

Tag: funny story

  • The Great Phone Number Debacle: Why I’ll Never Order Coffee Over the Phone Again

    The Great Phone Number Debacle: Why I’ll Never Order Coffee Over the Phone Again



    A Latte Regret: My Coffee Shop Mishap

    Let me preface this by saying I love coffee. I live for that first sip of silky smooth caffeine in the morning. But my love for coffee does not extend to ordering it over the phone. Oh no, my friends. That way lies madness, miscommunication, and enough second-hand embarrassment to fuel a rocket to the moon.

    It all started innocently enough. I was running late for work (shocker, I know) and desperately needed my caffeine fix. Figuring I’d save time, I decided to call ahead and pick up my order on the way. “Easy peasy,” I thought, dialing the number of my usual coffee shop. Little did I know, this was the beginning of the Great Phone Number Debacle.

    The Case of the Muffled Microphone (and My Order)

    The barista answered with a cheery, “Good morning! [Coffee Shop Name], what can I get for you?”

    I launched into my order: “Hi! I’d like a medium latte with oat milk and…” Here, my voice was swallowed by the abyss that is my handbag. I’m convinced there’s a black hole in there, sucking in all sound and loose change.

    “Hello? Hellooo?” I fished my phone out, contorting my face in a way that would make a Picasso painting look symmetrical.

    “Sorry,” I mumbled, “Can I start again? Medium latte, oat milk, and…” This time, it was the barista’s turn to disappear into the void. A chorus of muffled voices and coffee machine hisses filled the silence.

    A coffee cup with
  • The Day the Five-Second Rule Saved My Dignity (and Maybe My Stomach)

    The Day the Five-Second Rule Saved My Dignity (and Maybe My Stomach)




    The Day the Five-Second Rule Saved My Dignity (and Maybe My Stomach)

    My Brush with Culinary Disaster (and Carpet Lint)

    We’ve all been there. That heart-stopping moment when a perfectly good piece of food takes a nosedive towards the floor. Our eyes widen, our reflexes go into overdrive, and for a split second, time seems to slow down. Do we lunge? Do we weep? Or do we casually employ the time-honored tradition of the five-second rule?

    I used to scoff at this so-called “rule.” “Germs don’t operate on a timer,” I’d declare with an air of smug superiority. Oh, how naive I was. My perspective did a full 180 after a particularly memorable incident involving a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie (still warm from the oven!) and my kitchen floor (which, I’m ashamed to admit, hadn’t seen a proper mopping in…a while).

    Second Rule Story

    Picture this: It’s a Friday night, I’m home alone, and I’ve just pulled a tray of gooey, chocolatey goodness from the oven. As I reach for a plate, disaster strikes. The cookie slips from my grasp, bounces off the counter, and lands with a sickening thud on the floor.

    My heart sank. It was a thing of beauty, sacrificed at the altar of my clumsiness. But then, a glimmer of hope. “The five-second rule!” my brain screamed. Now, I won’t bore you with the details of the internal debate that raged within me. Let’s just say common sense lost to a potent combination of chocolate cravings and a desperate need to salvage something from this culinary catastrophe.

    I snatched up the cookie, gave it a cursory inspection (ignoring the suspicious-looking fuzz clinging to its underside), and took a triumphant bite. And guess what? It was glorious.

    The Aftermath: Did the Five-Second Rule Work?

    Now, before you brand me a public health hazard, let me assure you, I lived to tell the tale. In fact, I experienced zero ill effects from my daring cookie rescue. This experience sparked a newfound appreciation for the five-second rule. Sure, it might not stand up to scientific scrutiny (and let’s be honest, dropping food on the floor is never exactly hygienic), but there’s something undeniably satisfying about refusing to let a little mishap ruin a perfectly good treat.

    Let’s face it, life’s too short to mourn the loss of fallen food, especially when it comes to chocolate chip cookies. So, the next time you find yourself in a similar predicament, remember my story. Embrace the five-second rule, throw caution (and maybe some hand sanitizer) to the wind, and enjoy that rescued morsel. You might just be surprised at how delicious a little bit of “floor seasoning” can be (just kidding…kind of).