Just Relaxed Blog

Tag: parenting humor

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)



    The 5:00 AM Pact (and My Immediate Betrayal)

    My alarm clock sang its cheerful tune at 5:00 AM. Okay, “cheerful” might be a stretch. It was more like a digital rooster crowing directly into my ear. I’d made a pact with myself, you see. I was going to be one of those mythical creatures: a morning person.

    This delusion usually strikes me once a year, usually after reading some article about the productivity secrets of CEOs who wake up before dawn. This time, it was an Instagram post showcasing a woman sipping lemon water in a sun-drenched yoga pose as a majestic sunrise painted the sky behind her. “This could be me,” I’d thought, blissfully ignorant of the sleep inertia that awaited me.

    Back to the alarm. I smashed the snooze button with the fury of a thousand grumpy bears. Nine minutes later, the rooster crowed again. This cycle repeated itself until my actual, human-powered alarm (my six-year-old son) burst into my room demanding pancakes.

    Operation Sunshine: My Failed Morning Routine Experiments

    My initial failure didn’t deter me. Oh no, I had strategies! I researched the science of sleep cycles, invested in a sunrise alarm clock, and even tried that whole “going to bed early” nonsense (spoiler alert: Netflix always wins).

    Here’s a glimpse into my week of valiant, albeit ridiculous, efforts:

    1. Monday: Sunrise alarm clock. Verdict: Pleasant, but entirely ineffective at rousing a determined sleeper. I woke up at noon to the smell of burning toast (apparently, I also tried to make breakfast before going back to sleep).
    2. Tuesday: Motivational mantra and vigorous exercise. Verdict: Managed to drag myself out of bed and through a 10-minute yoga video. Immediately rewarded myself with a nap on the yoga mat.
  • The Day I Tried to Live Like My Toddler (Spoiler: It Was Chaos)

    The Day I Tried to Live Like My Toddler (Spoiler: It Was Chaos)




    The Day I Tried to Live Like My Toddler (Spoiler: It Was Chaos)


    The Great Toddler Experiment: A Day in the Life

    My three-year-old daughter, Lily, is a force of nature. She attacks each day with boundless energy, an insatiable curiosity, and, let’s be honest, the attention span of a goldfish. One particularly chaotic morning, as I was cleaning up spilled milk (again) while simultaneously trying to convince Lily that pants were a non-negotiable part of our morning routine, a thought struck me: what if I lived a day in her shoes?

    Now, I pride myself on being a relatively patient and understanding parent, but I had a sneaking suspicion that I only saw the tip of the toddler iceberg. So, fueled by equal parts curiosity and a morbid sense of humor, I decided to embark on an experiment: for 24 hours, I would live by Lily’s rules. No logic, no reasoning, just pure, unadulterated toddlerhood.

    Breakfast of Champions (Or, How to Fail at Eating Cereal Like a Toddler)

    My transformation began with breakfast. Gone were my usual yogurt and granola; instead, I was presented with a plate of dry cereal scattered across the table. Lily, of course, had her own bowl, but she was far more interested in meticulously picking out and consuming only the orange cereal bits. I attempted to follow suit, but apparently, I wasn’t being nearly messy enough. Cue the first meltdown (mine, not hers).

    Humorous photo of an adult lying on the floor, seemingly unconscious, while a toddler uses their back as a slide.
  • Why I Let My Toddler Dress Me for a Week

    Why I Let My Toddler Dress Me for a Week



    The Day My Fashion Sense Went on Vacation

    It all started with a stray thought. You know, the kind that pops into your head while you’re desperately trying to convince a tiny human that pants are, in fact, necessary. My three-year-old daughter, Lily, stood defiant, clutching a sparkly tutu and a feather boa. “But Mommy,” she wailed, “THIS is pretty!” And that’s when the thought hit: Why not? Why not let Lily, my little fashionista-in-training, take the reins of my wardrobe for a week?

    Now, before you picture a parade of princess dresses and rain boots, let me clarify: I set some ground rules. Work was off-limits (my boss already questions my sanity). And while I applaud Lily‘s commitment to self-expression, I drew the line at swimwear for grocery shopping. But within those parameters, my wardrobe was her oyster. What could possibly go wrong?

    Day 1: My Toddler, the Superhero Stylist

    Monday morning arrived with the subtle grace of a glitter bomb. I stumbled into the living room, bleary-eyed and craving coffee, to find Lily beaming beside a pile of clothes that could only be described as “eclectic.”