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Tag: perfume etiquette

  • The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (and the People Who Break Them)

    The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (and the People Who Break Them)

    elevator with someone who seems to have missed the memo on basic etiquette. Let’s unpack the unspoken rules of riding in a metal box with strangers and avoid those awkward (or fume-filled) encounters.

    My Personal Elevator Saga (Or Why I Wrote This Guide)

    The other day, I crammed myself into a crowded elevator. You know the drill—sardines in a can, trying to avoid eye contact or accidental breathing on anyone. Suddenly, a wave of heavy perfume smacked me in the face like a bouquet of lilies at a funeral. I desperately gasped for air, praying the elevator gods would grant me a swift descent to freedom.

    That’s when it hit me: people need a refresher course on elevator etiquette. So, dear readers, I present to you the unspoken rules of navigating these metal boxes of awkward encounters.

    Rule #1: Silence is Golden (Unless You’re the “Close Door” Button)

    We’ve all been there. The elevator doors close, plunging you into a silent abyss of strangers. Suddenly, someone decides to break the quiet with a booming phone call about their ingrown toenail. Please, I beg of you, don’t be that person.

    The unspoken rule: Elevators are sacred spaces of introverted bliss. Keep conversations brief, phone calls on mute, and personal hygiene revelations to yourself.

    Pro-tip: If you absolutely MUST answer a call, keep it short, sweet, and utterly devoid of personal details. “Hey, I’m in an elevator, can I call you back?” works wonders.

    Rule #2: The “Close Door” Button is Your Friend, Not a Weapon

    Picture this: you’re running late, desperately racing towards the elevator as the doors begin to close. Just when all hope seems lost, a kind soul inside hammers the “Open Door” button, granting you a reprieve from the stair-climbing gods.

    Now, imagine the opposite. You’re safely ensconced within the elevator when someone mashes the “Close Door” button the second you step in, nearly severing your arm in the process. Not cool, my friend, not cool.

    The unspoken rule: The “Close Door” button is not a weapon to be wielded against your fellow elevator passengers. Exercise patience and a smidge of human decency.

    Rule #3: Personal Space? In This Economy?

    Elevators are masters of spatial distortion. One minute you’re comfortably riding solo, the next you’re sandwiched between a guy humming off-key and a woman who brought her entire spice rack shopping haul along for the ride.

    The unspoken rule: Embrace the awkward. Maintain a respectful distance when possible, but be prepared to sacrifice your personal bubble in the name of vertical transportation.

    Pro-tip: Avoid eye contact at all costs. Trust me on this one.

    Share Your Elevator Adventures (We’ve All Been There)

    What are your biggest elevator pet peeves? Share your hilarious, cringeworthy, or downright bizarre elevator encounters in the comments below!

  • The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (and the People Who Break Them)

    The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (and the People Who Break Them)

    The Unspoken Rules of Elevator Etiquette (And How Not to Break Them)

    We all know the feeling. That awkward, silent ride with that person breaking all the unspoken rules of elevator etiquette. Let’s laugh about it (and maybe learn a thing or two).

    My Personal Elevator Nightmare

    The other day, I crammed myself into a packed elevator, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with the sea of briefcases and handbags. You know the drill, the classic “pretend to be fascinated by your phone” maneuver. Suddenly, a wave of potent perfume, smelling vaguely of a grandma’s potpourri drawer, washed over me. I dared a glance and saw him: a man, practically bathing in a vat of cologne, completely oblivious to the olfactory distress he was causing.

    This, my friends, is a prime example of the unspoken rules of elevator etiquette gone wrong. We’ve all been there. We’ve all silently judged (and maybe even been the ones judged). So, let’s unpack (pun intended, you’ll see why) the unwritten code of conduct for the modern elevator journey.

    Rule #1: Thou Shalt Not Be a “Close Talker”

    Let’s be real, elevators are basically metal boxes hurtling us through the air at questionable speeds. Personal space is already at a premium. So, when someone insists on standing uncomfortably close, breathing down your neck, it’s just not cool.

    Pro-tip: Maintain a healthy bubble. Imagine you’re carrying an invisible beach ball around you – nobody wants their beach ball popped!

    Rule #2: Silence is Golden, But So is Common Courtesy

    Look, we get it. Elevators can be awkward. That silence, punctuated only by the soft ding of passing floors, can feel deafening. But that doesn’t mean you should subject your fellow passengers to your life story, a loud phone conversation, or worse – your questionable taste in music.

    The exception to the rule: A simple “good morning” or a polite nod goes a long way. And hey, if someone’s struggling with a heavy package, offer a helping hand!

    Rule #3: Your Lunch Doesn’t Need a Ride

    You know that delicious, garlicky Pad Thai you had for lunch? Yeah, your fellow elevator passengers can smell it too. And while we’re on the topic of smells, let’s address the elephant (or rather, the gym bag) in the room.

    Golden rule of thumb: Keep strong scents contained. That goes for pungent food, excessive perfume, and yes, even your sweaty gym clothes. Nobody wants to experience your workout on the way to the 10th floor.

    Are We All Just Trapped in a Metal Box of Social Anxiety?

    Elevator etiquette really boils down to one thing: being mindful of others. We’re all just trying to get where we’re going, one awkward, silent ride at a time. So, let’s make the journey a little less painful by following these unspoken rules. Or at least, let’s have a good laugh about it later.

    What are your biggest elevator etiquette pet peeves? Share your hilarious (or horrifying) stories in the comments below!