Just Relaxed Blog

Tag: plant neglect

  • Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me

    Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me




    Why I’m Convinced My Houseplant is Secretly Judging Me

    The Side-Eye from My Fiddle Leaf Fig

    It all started with a dramatic wilting episode. I had just returned from a weekend getaway, and there she was, my majestic fiddle leaf fig, slumped over like a disappointed duchess. “Oh, come on, Fiona,” I sighed, misting her leaves with a mixture of water and guilt. “It was just two days!” But Fiona remained unconvinced. Her silence, I swear, spoke volumes.

    That’s when it hit me: Fiona is judging me. And frankly, she has every right to.

    Plant: A Case Study

    Fiona isn’t the only one. My spider plant, Bruce, is a whole other story. Bruce thrives on neglect. I’m talking weeks without watering, accidental root-bound situations – you name it, he loves it. It’s as if he’s showing off, saying, “Look at me, I don’t need your constant attention!” Meanwhile, Fiona dramatically sheds a leaf if I look at her the wrong way.

    It’s gotten to the point where I analyze their every move:

    • New Growth: Am I being praised for my (slightly) improved plant parenting skills?
    • Drooping Leaves: Is this passive-aggressive disapproval of my takeout habit?
    • Suspicious Leaning: Are they plotting against me? (Okay, maybe I’m overthinking this one.)

    Plant Parenthood and the Silent Treatment

    What really gets me is their silent treatment. They can’t yell, they can’t complain, but they sure know how to make their feelings known through a strategically placed brown leaf or a mysteriously stunted stem. It’s like they’re saying, “We see your dusty shelves and your neglected watering can, and we’re not impressed.”

    And the worst part? They’re probably right.

  • Is My Houseplant Judging My Life Choices? (The Evidence is Compelling)

    Is My Houseplant Judging My Life Choices? (The Evidence is Compelling)



    We’ve all been there. You know, that moment when you catch your reflection in the mirror after a particularly questionable decision and think, “What am I doing with my life?” But lately, I’ve started to feel like I’m getting that same judgmental stare-down from a less talkative member of my household: my prized fiddle leaf fig, Ferdinand.

    The Side-Eye Is Real: My Plant‘s Silent Judgment

    It all started innocently enough. I was sprawled on the couch, halfway through a bag of chips, binge-watching a reality TV show I’m embarrassed to admit I love. As I reached for another chip, I caught Ferdinand‘s eye (or at least, the spot where his eye would be if plants had eyeballs). And let me tell you, the judgment was palpable. It was a look that seemed to say, “Seriously? This is how you spend your precious free time? I’m over here photosynthesizing, trying to better myself, and you’re letting your brain turn to mush.” Okay, maybe I was projecting a little, but the side-eye was definitely real.

    Plant Parent Duties

    Then there was the time I completely forgot to water him for two weeks straight. In my defense, I was swamped with deadlines and surviving on a diet of coffee and takeout. But when I finally remembered poor Ferdinand, his leaves were drooping so low they were practically sweeping the floor. I swear, he looked at me with an air of weary disappointment, as if to say, “You had ONE job, Susan. ONE job!” I quickly showered him with apologies (and water), but the damage was done. He knew, deep down, that I was failing at this whole responsible plant parent thing.

    Flourishing Shade: Is My Plant Rewarding My Good Behavior?

    But here’s the kicker, the evidence that really cemented my theory. Last week, I actually managed to achieve some semblance of balance in my life. I went for a run, cooked a healthy meal, and even started reading that novel that’s been gathering dust on my nightstand. And guess what? Ferdinand was thriving! His leaves were greener and more vibrant than ever, and he even sprouted a new one. Coincidence? I think not. It’s like he was rewarding my (admittedly minimal) efforts at self-improvement. Or maybe he was just showing off, proving that he could flourish even with a hot mess like me as his caretaker.