The 5 AM Pact
My alarm clock was blaring an obnoxious rendition of “Walking on Sunshine,” which, ironically, made me want to chuck it across the room. It was 5:00 AM, the sun was still sleeping in, and I, against all my natural instincts, was attempting to become a morning person.
You see, I’d been seduced by the productivity gurus of the internet. They all swore by it: “Wake up before the world does!” they chirped, “Conquer your day with a sunrise jog and a green smoothie!” I, a dedicated night owl who functioned best after the moon had clocked in, was determined to unlock this mythical early-bird power.
The Great Sleep-Deprived Meltdown
It all came crashing down around week two. Sleep deprivation, it turns out, does not a pleasant person make. I cried over spilled coffee, snapped at colleagues, and nearly started a war with the office printer when it dared to run out of ink.
My failed experiment culminated in a spectacularly embarrassing meeting where I, in all my sleep-deprived glory, referred to our CEO as “Mr. Snugglekins” (his name is Robert). Let’s just say, my attempt at being a morning person went down in flames, taking my dignity with it.