Just Relaxed Blog

Tag: sleep habits

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)


    We’ve all seen them—those infuriatingly chipper morning people who practically bounce out of bed, chirping about sunshine and productivity. I’m not one of them. I’m a card-carrying member of the Night Owls Association, where the motto is “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” (which, ironically, might be sooner than later if I keep up my nocturnal habits).

    But recently, seduced by promises of increased productivity, boundless energy, and maybe even the ability to make a decent breakfast for once, I decided to embark on a noble and possibly foolish quest: become a morning person.

    The Great Alarm Clock Standoff of 2023

    My first mistake, I now realize, was going all-in on day one. I set my alarm for 5:00 AM, a full three hours earlier than my usual wake-up time. I even downloaded one of those apps that makes you solve math problems to turn it off. (Let me tell you, nothing screams “I hate the world” like long division at the crack of dawn.)

    Yoga Fail: My Downward Dog Was More Like a Dying Walrus

    The internet, in all its infinite wisdom, assured me that the key to becoming a morning person was establishing a positive morning routine. So, naturally, I signed up for a 6:00 AM yoga class.

    Now, I’m not sure what I expected. Maybe some graceful stretching as the sun gently peeked over the horizon, bathing me in its golden rays. What I got was a dimly lit studio full of terrifyingly alert individuals who looked like they’d already run a marathon and filed their taxes before I even managed to get dressed.

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The 5 AM Alarm Clock Debacle

    Let me set the scene: 4:58 AM. My alarm clock, which I had lovingly nicknamed “The Rooster” (due to its earsplitting crowing sound), decided to unleash its fury upon my peaceful slumber. Now, for most normal, functioning members of society, this would be a sign to rise and shine. For me, it was more akin to a horror movie jump scare.

    You see, I, my friends, am not a morning person. I’m more of a “let’s stay up late watching documentaries about the mating habits of deep-sea creatures” kind of person. But, like a moth to a flame (or perhaps more accurately, a zombie to brains), I was drawn to the seductive idea of becoming a morning person.

    tried it.

    The results were…mixed. I did manage to stay awake (for the most part), but I also developed a nervous twitch and an uncanny ability to hear colors.

  • The Time I Tried to be a ‘Morning Person’ (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Time I Tried to be a ‘Morning Person’ (and Failed Spectacularly)




    The Time I Tried to be a ‘Morning Person’ (and Failed Spectacularly)

    The Great Dawn Experiment

    Let me preface this by saying I love the idea of mornings. That crisp air, the promise of a fresh start, the smugness of being “ahead” of the day…it all sounds lovely. In theory. In reality, I’m more of a “wake up with bed hair and the faint scent of last night‘s pizza” kind of gal.

    But a few weeks ago, I stumbled across one too many articles praising the productivity and overall zen of morning people. I’d be healthier, wealthier, and possibly sprout a third arm (okay, maybe not that last one) if I just embraced the sunrise, they promised. So, I did what any self-respecting skeptic would do: I embarked on a social experiment. I, a certified night owl, would become a morning person. For science. And, you know, the potential for extra limbs.

    Phase 1: Rise and…Regret?

    My alarm clock, usually relegated to the dusty corner of my nightstand, was given a place of honor. 6:00 AM. The audacity. The first morning was rough, like waking up in a parallel universe where the sun was a cruel joke and coffee hadn’t been invented yet. I stumbled through a yoga routine (read: awkwardly flailed around) while my cat gave me a judgmental stare.

    morning staring blankly at my computer screen, occasionally nodding off and startling myself awake. On the plus side, I discovered a newfound appreciation for the snooze button.

    Phase 2: Embrace the Caffeine (and the Chaos)

    Week two, and I realized I needed reinforcements. Enter: industrial-sized coffee maker. My caffeine intake reached new heights, as did my anxiety levels. I was a whirlwind of nervous energy, cleaning my apartment at lightning speed, then forgetting where I’d put my keys five minutes later.

    My attempt at a healthy breakfast (a smoothie, because that’s what healthy morning people do, right?) ended disastrously. Let’s just say my blender and I had a difference of opinion on the appropriate speed setting.

  • The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (Spoiler Alert: It Backfired)

    The Time I Tried to Be a Morning Person (Spoiler Alert: It Backfired)





    The Pre-Dawn Pact I Made (and Immediately Regretted)

    Let me set the scene: It’s 5:30 AM, the sun is barely a rumor behind the curtains, and my alarm clock is chirping obnoxiously. Now, for most normal, functioning humans, this might be a typical Tuesday. For me, however, this was a declaration of war on my very nature. You see, I am, and have always been, a card-carrying member of the Night Owls Society. My brain fires on all cylinders at 2:00 AM, I get my best writing done when the moon is high, and the mere thought of a 6:00 AM workout used to send shivers down my spine.

    But then, it happened. I stumbled across one of those articles – you know the ones – with titles like “10 Habits of Ridiculously Productive People” or “How Waking Up Early Changed My Life (and It Can Change Yours Too!).” Lured by the siren song of increased productivity and maybe even a shot at early-bird discounts at my local bakery, I decided to make a change. I, dear reader, was going to become a Morning Person™.

    Person Mishaps

    My transformation started out surprisingly well. I woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:00 AM (a full hour earlier than my usual wake-up time!), made myself a smoothie (that I may or may not have spilled on myself due to my still-dormant motor skills), and even attempted some light yoga (let’s just say my downward dog looked more like a confused dachshund).

    However, this newfound productivity was short-lived. My early morning jog felt more like a death march, my attempts at creative writing produced sentences like “The sky was blue, but also kind of sleepy,” and I spent an embarrassing amount of time staring blankly into the abyss of my refrigerator, convinced I had forgotten how to make coffee.

    The final straw came during an important work meeting. I, fueled by a potent combination of sleep deprivation and an ill-advised amount of coffee, somehow managed to confuse the CEO with a potted plant during my presentation. Needless to say, my dreams of impressing the higher-ups with my newfound morning-person energy went down in flames (along with my reputation, probably).

    Embracing My Inner Night Owl (and My Snooze Button)

    After a solid week of pre-dawn misery, I finally surrendered to the undeniable truth: I am not, nor will I ever be, a morning person. I accepted that my creativity thrives after the sun sets, that my ideal breakfast involves copious amounts of coffee, and that my sleep-deprived self poses a danger to both office plants and corporate presentations.

    So, I returned to my beloved snooze button, embraced the quiet productivity of the late-night hours, and left the sunrise yoga and green smoothies to those who actually function before noon. And you know what? I’ve never been happier (or more well-rested).